The Perfect Storm
Mark Bykerk
It’s the first day of the school year. You go out to start the car and the battery is dead. It won’t even jump start. Your spouse has to go to work, you have to bring the kids to school. Everyone is running late. You have to drive almost 2 hours to bring the kids to school, your spouse to work, and get to your own work.
You didn’t sleep well that night. It was a long day at work and you’re exhausted. You need a break. But the kids just want to play hide and seek – so you do so begrudgingly. You don’t feel mentally present but you play their games, you draw pictures with them, and you read books as you doze off.
Finances are short this month. There were more medical expenses and vehicle repairs that you didn’t plan for. All of the bills still got paid but you’re weary as you weren’t able to take the family out to dinner. You weren’t able to do some fun day trips like you had hoped. You had to put that tank of gas on the credit card.
In my mind, all of these scenarios, and countless more can be considered a perfect storm. Many things are going “wrong” at once. Your stress level is building and building and you just can’t catch a break. In the moment it can be so hard to stay calm – to just push through – to find a positive way to battle the storm and come out undamaged at the end. But I wonder if the aftermath of a storm is more important than the storm itself.
Consider the above statements again – they seem to be all negative things. The car doesn’t start, you’re exhausted but still trying to parent, you’re short on finances. We never want any of these things to happen, and in the moment, you can’t imagine a positive outcome. But after the stress has subsided, you’ve gotten everyone where they need to be, you’ve paid the necessary bills, and you’ve gotten a good night’s sleep - try rethinking about the storm. Look at how you handled it and see if there are ways to improve. Try to find any glimpse of positivity in what had happened.
Sure, the car died, but your spouse was able to come with you to drop the kids off on the first day of school – something that rarely fits in the schedule. Bonus - you learned how to install a new car battery on your own since you had to save money.
Yes, you were exhausted and did your best to be present with your kids, even though it felt like you were unconscious. But chances are, your kids just enjoyed spending the time with you. They may have wondered why you counted extra slow during hide and seek or read the same page 3 times, but they don’t dwell on it. They enjoyed your company and play time. Bonus – you found that you can hide in a certain closet and take a quick 5-minute nap before they will find you.
Finances. One of the largest stressors in our society. We can’t help but compare our possessions to others, we always want more, and we feel disappointed when we can’t afford or do things we want to do. But in this scenario, all of the bills were paid. Nobody was losing their home, going hungry, or without power or water. Yes, the month’s expectations had shifted and plans had to be adjusted. But all of the truly important things had been taken care of. Bonus – you discovered how much your family enjoys even the simplest of meals.
For me, the aftermath of the storm is incredibly important. If I can shift how I think about stressful situations after it happens, it puts me in a better place when I face the next storm. In the moment, I’m in survival mode – just trying to get everyone where they need to be, get the bills paid, be a good parent - but during the aftermath, the clouds clear, God shines down with His grace and shows me how to be a better person.
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.
- Psalm 107: 28-29